My name is Gillian Ford and I am the author of a book called "Listening to Your Hormones". I want to tell you about my experience with suicidal depression. I am now age 53, but in my 20s, I did not think I would see age 30.

I was born into a family with a history of depression on my fathers side and hormonal problems on my mothers side. My sister and I both had severe depression with Premenstual Syndrome (PMS). My sister who has recently died from colon cancer denied this, but her husband told me several times that he had to persuade her not to kill herself each month. I first began having PMS when my periods started at age 13. At age 17, I first went to a doctor in New Zealand who said I had PMT. She offered me Valium which I refused. At that time, I had very regular periods and would be fine until day 21. Then I would suddenly feel as though I fell off a cliff into depression. Depression was my only symptom.

At age 26, this problem was worsened about 100 times by going on the birth control pill. I was only on it for 3 months and recognized that it was making me continually depressed. When I went off it, my cycles became long and erratic. I began to have severe PMS depression from day 12 of the cycle when I ovulated. I could have up to 4 weeks PMS
from day 12 to the time my period actually came, and I would become increasingly depressed and suicidal as the period approached. When I got my period, I was suddenly and immediately better for 12 days and then it would all start again. It was hell. I finally started a psychological journey for four years going to six psychiatrists in four countries and trying most of the antidepressants that were then available, including Parnate and Stelazine, lithium , and lots of others. They all made me worse except for Elavil, but that upset my stomach.

In 1974, I read three books that helped. #1 The Pill on Trial by Paul Vaughan; #2 The Menstrual Cycle by Dr. Katharina Dalton, #3 The Psychology of Women by Dr. Judith Bardwick. The latter book helped me most. It pointed out that women universally feel better just before they ovulate because estrogen is at its highest and progesterone is absent. And it said that estrogen acts as an antidepressant, a fact that is true for many women but still not widely accepted or researched.

I became worse on natural progesterone, but estrogen worked overnight and has worked uniformly for over 20 years. People have different responses, and some women feel better on natural progesterone and not estrogen. Thyroid also helps certain people with depression. If you think you have a hormone problem, you may find help in my book, especially in the chapters on Thyroid and depression and Estrogen and depression. My website is www.hormonesonline.com. I now have a clinic in Roseville, California and with physician supervision, help women and men with hormonal disorders. Be encouraged. I longed for years to die. And after age 29, I never felt that way again!