You would never know to look at them. They are successful businessmen and women, students, professionals, white and blue collar workers. They have happy families, play sports, win competitions, write books and music. They hold positions of authority and manage responsibility. They go to church, participate in city council and politics, and play golf on Saturdays. They shop, raise children, and take vacations. From the richest to the poorest people in the world, black to white ethnic groups and students to professionals. Depression doesn't play favorites. They are your neighbors, friends, co-workers and associates and all appear happy and satisfied on the surface. Yet all suffer tremendously in silence. Individuals suffering from depression are often extremely good at hiding what they consider to be an embarrassing fault. That is why is the disease of depression can be so deadly.

The depressed individual appears happy on the surface but everyday life is a constant, silent struggle to make ends meet and appear normal. For instance, it may take Carol hours to get up in the morning and muster enough motivation to make breakfast. She tries but instead remains sitting on her bed trying to decide which suit to wear. She can't make the decision due to all the other thoughts racing through her head, and instead calls work claiming she has to get her car repaired. Then she will crawl back into bed and try to calm the racing horrible thoughts going though her head. The feelings of loneliness and despair about everything in her life. From why she isn't happy at the job she's always loved before, to her own feelings of inadequacy when she always felt confident before. There is no end to the constant chatter of thoughts racing in her head. She feels alternatively ashamed, embarrassed and appalled by her lack of motivation. She thinks she is lazy, selfish and unlovable. She can't believe that she just can't get up and do the things that everyone else can do. By the end of the day, she is exhausted from lack of food, exercise and the mental decathlon that has no end or resolution.

The next day she somehow gets up in time to make it to work although the thoughts continue to chatter in her mind. She greets her co-workers with the same enthusiasm she always shows at work. They never know how she really feels. By 10:00 am her mind, body and spirit already feel exhausted from the energy it takes to maintain a happy mask. She barely makes it through the day and collapses on her bed at 6:00 pm. She forgets to eat because the thoughts continue to race through her head. She is constantly thinking about what to do or how to fix how she feels.

This pattern continues for months. Her bills go unpaid, she hasn't talked to a friend or family member in months, her house has leftover fast food containers everywhere. It smells. The garbage has spilled over onto the floor, she didn't pick it up. She hasn't washed clothes in two months. She has lost 20 lbs, her hair is unkempt and she only takes a shower once a week. She looks terrible without her makeup. She realizes how far down she has sunk but has no energy to fix it. It is all she can do to make it to work everyday, act happy, pay the rent and occasionally check her mail. Every couple of weeks, she realizes how bad things are and cleans the house, pays bills and calls a friend. When they ask how she is doing she tells them all the wonderful things going on at work and how she is so busy planning her upcoming wedding.

This constant, circling mind-chatter combined with the effort it takes to maintain a happy facade goes on for years and takes its toll. The only answer she can come up with in her mind is that she wants peace. She is too embarrassed to tell anyone how bad she feels and how she has let herself go. She never invites people over to her house anymore. She is too embarrassed to tell her doctor. She never considers that it might have a medical explanation and cure. She believes successful people can handle anything themselves. She believes if she does tell someone she will be judged to be lazy, and selfish and not able to care for herself. She thinks she must be crazy and doesn't know there is a solution. Seeking peace, she hangs herself after making an appointment for the dentist the following week. She leaves no note or explanation, she is too ashamed to admit she needed help. She was twenty-nine years old, a successful lawyer, with lots of friends and a birthday coming up the following week. Her loving parents, brother and fiancee never knew she was having a hard time. They felt completely blind-sided and wished she had trusted them enough to help. Because she never talked with anyone, Carol never knew her own mother had suffered from depression and could've told her about the genetic history of this disease in their family. Anti-depressants had helped Carol's mother for years, but she too was embarrassed to tell her family she took medication.

Sadly, situations like this are happening right now all over the world, to your neighbor, friends and family members. They too are too ashamed to admit they don't know what's happening to them and put on a happy face. Depressive individuals usually hide it for many years before seeking treatment if they are lucky. One the most common reasons is their own lack of awareness about the disease. Statistics and personal experience show that they believe they simply need to change their attitude and they will feel better. They do not understand that the chemical imbalance in their brain is causing their feelings of despair. The feelings will never go away as long as there is a chemical imbalance. And as feelings of despair continue to build inside a sufferer of depression, and responsibilities in life get greater and greater, it is like a time bomb waiting to explode.

If you feel lethargic, are not eating, and sleep most of the day while suffering depressed thoughts you need to ask for help. Do not continue to appear happy when you don't feel happy. Instead, try connecting with at least one friend or loved one. Decide right now that you are going to write down or talk about how bad you feel. Tell them in advance that you are having a hard time and need someone to talk to. Learning to be vulnerable will save your life. Let them know you are afraid of being judged and appearing crazy, but that you need to talk about it. Describe to them in detail your true daily activities, your eating schedule, work schedule, frequency and duration of suicidal thoughts, and any alcohol or drugs you are using. Express how much you appreciate them listening to you. If they want to help, ask them to help you seek treatment. If you haven't cried, screamed or gotten emotional during your discussion, you are not sharing your true depth of emotions. Feelings of despair and hopeless are not pretty and its difficult to talk about without getting emotional, thats good. It is mandatory and therapeutic for you to express your true feelings, no matter how bad it sounds. Refuse to be embarrassed. If you feel they are judging you, ask them to visit this site so they know what they are dealing with and know what to say. Like you, they may not have a clear understanding about this disease and will need to educate themselves. Be advised, if you don't feel some relief after venting all your feelings of shame and despair, try the same discussion with others until you find someone that listens, lets you cry and concentrates on helping you get treatment instead of trying to get you to change your feelings.

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